What have I done?


Have you ever made a decision and been 100% sure that you were making the right decision, but then had a change of heart and were 100% sure you were making a terrible mistake?  That is where I am at right now.  For the last several years I have been out straight, working like crazy!  I’ve been working a full-time job and a part-time job at the same time.  The part-time job is a Director’s position with tons of responsibility (most weeks it’s like a full time job).  While working so much, I’ve also been trying to raise 3 children.  Glenn and I spent about a year discussing me reducing my hours at my full-time job, so I would basically be working two part-time jobs.  We thought that this would give me more time with the family and at home.  While, yes, it was a significant cut in pay, we figured it’d be fine, we live very modestly anyways.  Well, the day has come that my pay is reduced and the gravity of the situation has truly hit me!  I am having such anxiety over this!  It’s not a fear that we won’t be able to pay our bills, because we will, it’s just the comfort of not having the extra money.  I am now feeling like I’ve made a huge mistake!  Who gives up a NYS teaching contract?  Yes, I’m still working but I’m now an adjunct and no longer on a full time teaching contact (albeit still have the great health insurance and retirement).   I’m in tears over this – even though it was a decision we thought long and hard about it and made a long time ago!  I’m sure everything will be fine and in no time we’ll adjust to our new lifestyle.  Oh blogosphere – please send me positive vibes that I made the right decision, that time with my kids while they’re still little is what matters, that everything will be ok.  Thanks!


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